Am I Enough?

“They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor .”- Isa 61:3

This question has flooded my life the past few days and between media, others, books and more I feel like as women we are bombarded with the question “Am I enough.”  I have watched adorable women change, all because the “guy “ they have their eye on would want it this way. I have watched,  normally strong women, crumble at the glance of a guy looking there way. Why do we as women allow men to have this effect on us?  Simple… we desire to be loved. To be wanted. To be needed.  Our hearts were created for this. We were created to “naturally” want to please / worship someone or something. So as women, we will try everything and anything in the world to catch the eye of the guy we have a crush on. Sadly I have to admit I have been guilty of this as well and it breaks my heart when I watch sisters in Christ do it now. All they are asking the man is for him to affirm her. For him to say she is enough.  That she is pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, lovely enough… and on and on. I just want to shout to each sweet sister and say “ You are enough” and there is a man who thinks that you are enough and you do not have to “beg” him to like you. He has unfailing love for you.  (Ps 18:50, Ps 31:16, Ps 33:5)

Beloved , God is the only one who can love anyone to wholeness. So if you are just sitting around waiting on some man to “make you complete” then you will be waiting and waiting, because no man can or ever will be able to give you that conclusion.  It is impossible for a man to do that and if we as women but that burden on men we are going to end up getting hurt the first time that a man lets us down. Man will fail us sweet sister, but God never will. Beloved all of this will fade away but He will not ( Isaiah 54:10) .  So before you start changing your darling self to make a man “happy” and to show him that you “are enough” remember that Christ already thought you were enough to die the cruelest of deaths so that you could be with Him for all of eternity.  You are “good enough” beloved one and Christ thought so. You are His daughter and He selected you,  to be His daughter (Ephesians 1:4). I don’t know about you but the fact that the King of Kings picked me  , far out ways my concern on if a “earthly man” thinks I am pretty enough. My King thinks I am beautiful and He is enthralled with my beauty (For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. – Ps 45:11).  If that does not make your heart full with happiness I am not sure what will. Take delight in knowing that your Royal Husband picked YOU and that He delights in YOUR beauty.  If  a  earthly man is worthy of your heart,  he will be captivated by your heart for the King .  You want a man who looks and appreciates that beautiful part of your heart , not what you wear, how you act, or how you look. If your life is pleasing your Royal Husband, then sweet one you are on the right path. Keep seeking Him and only the earthly man worthy and deserving of your treasured heart will seek it, guard it and fight for it.  “ You are enough” and your King is saying “ You are a display of MY splendor.”

Secure Woman of The Lord:

Recent conversations with some beloved sisters have brought up the topic of security and where security is found for women in this world today.  This world throws so many things at the darling feet of women.  I am not saying, by any means, that our sweet brothers do not deal with the same things, they absolutely do, but for this topic I am only addressing women. This brings me to the question of “what does a secure woman of the Lord look like?  How do we, as Christian women, who are seeking after our King, act when insecurities invade our life?

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Proverbs 31, also known as the “virtuous woman” or “the woman of valor.”  This scripture shows us just what kind of a woman we need to be not only for marriage but for security as well.   I know God uses truth to set a person free and the truth of breaking free of insecurities was merely in a few words of Proverbs 31…. “She is clothed with strength and dignity.”  I want to be a virtuous woman with all my heart and have noble character but in reality the Hebrew term is most often used to convey valor. In fact the same word is translated “mighty” in God’s reference to Gideon in Judges 6:12.

“The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

Why is it translated different in Proverbs 31 just because she was a woman? Is it because it doesn’t take as much courage to be a woman as it takes to be a man? I am not sure of the courage it took during Bible time but I know how courageous women need to be today. Word Biblical Commentary translates this word using its most common meaning:

“A woman of valor, who can find ? Her value is beyond rubies”

And right there, in this portrait, of this courageous, active woman we find the words that I have been saying over and over when I am faced with doubt… “She is clothed with strength and dignity. “I want to camp here and look into this verse and unpack all the truth that it holds for us as women of the Lord.

SHE… Scriptures strong lean towards male gender reference has never upset me. For example when scripture calls all of us who believe in Christ “sons of God” I am completely fine with this referring to, male and female. I am astonished at “she” because the fact that God would highlight this passage for our female voyage was very touching to me. His word is never beyond our reach but sometimes He goes out of His way to place it right in front of us.  

 

IS CLOTHED… This picture painted in our heads by the reference to clothing speaks loudly. After all, don’t all of us sweet ladies adore a darling sundress or a perfect pair of jeans? I think it is very interesting that the Lord used “clothed. “ I am not sure about you but the first thing I think of about “clothing” with insecurities would be “Am I wearing enough and covered up enough?”  I have finally come to a place where I am willing to be open about my insecurities  but I find wonderful relief in knowing that human eyes can only see it through the filter of “clothing” of my God given strength and dignity . Dear one, we are not nearly as likely to respond with the same level of insecurity when we remember how well covered we are by God. (Psalm 91:4)  

WITH STRENGTH…The scripture tells us that this woman of valor is “clothed” with two different pairs of clothing that form a perfect match . The first part of her “clothing” is strength. Why did the Lord use strength? Honestly as women what can make us feel more defeated, or weak then insecurities. When a situation happens and we know we should have handle it differently we immediately feel weak and disappointed in how we let our insecurity get to us , again. My dear one, what would happen if instead when you are attacked by a wave of doubt and fear if you simply said “ I am a God –clothed woman of valor and I have the pleasure of wearing marvelous strength like a garment.”  How would our reaction be after that statement? I mean we are women after all and honestly we know that what we wear can dramatically change us. I think we are all too familiar with standing in front of our closet door and trying on 4 different outfits before we finally leave the house. Take a look at what garment Romans 13:14 tells us to wear “clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.” Beloved one, there is nothing weak about HIM.  Untainted, power resting on our very shoulders.  As women in Christ we have divine power.  During our weakest moment His strength is perfect and enough. Take joy in knowing sweet sister that if you are in Christ you are completely covered by a coat of strength… and not only strength but….

AND DIGNITY… It doesn’t say she is clothed with strength and inaccessibility. It doesn’t say she is clothed with strength and no humility. It says she is clothed with strength and dignity. This dear sister also shows that the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31 is also a really amazing wife. The word translated wife can also mean “woman” so the word could refer to one who is single as well as one who has a husband. The context of Proverbs 31 is a married woman and therefore the translation of wife is here. The reason I am stating that she was married is because some women think that they can’t be biblical wives and maintain their dignity too. To those sweet ones I say: we do not have to hate ourselves to love a man or hate a man to love ourselves.  Quite the contrary, if she has her head on straight and knows how to apply the biblical concepts correctly , a married woman who claims her dignity is far more of a treasure to her man than one who does not. A marriage is never benefited by either partner’s absence of dignity.  We can still respect, cherish and allow our husband to lead while still claiming our dignity in Christ. We do not forfeit our humility to get over our insecurity.  That brings us to the point of what does “dignity” actually mean? In Psalm 8: 3-5 the word is translated as “honor” instead of dignity but it is from the same Hebrew term and holds the same meaning.

“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor.”

Beloved, we have dignity because God Himself gave it to us, His most cherished creation. You and I, along with every other human on this earth have dignity because God Himself has it and He created us in His image. According to Psalm 8 we are crowned with dignity. To have dignity is to be worthy of respect. You are worthy of respect. No matter how silly insecurities have made us feel we have the right to dignity because Christ gave it to us and sweet one, He did not place it in our hands He placed it on our heads. He has crowned His beautiful bride with strength and dignity. Claim it sweet sister.  

Mirroring Relationship and Marriage:

 

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5: 21

My sweet sister recently sent me a short message she had found on marriage where four, very well known pastors each gave their take on it.  Although I am not married (as a girl who desires that and is waiting for the Lord to bring me into a relationship with one of His son’s) I found this message so amazing.  

One thing that one of the pastors said really spoke to me. He said “when God brings a man and a woman together that normally the areas of weakness that the other person has, are the areas that we wish they were strong in.”  He then brought up the point of why does God do that and showed that God does that, because the gift of marriage is to conform to the image of Christ and the personal relationship that we each have with Him. Our marriage should reflect an “earthly” portrait of what our relationship looks like with Christ. Think of it like this:

What are three words that you would use to describe Christ?  I would say unfailing love, patience, and grace.  So for marriage, how do we learn unfailing love if our spouse is near perfect?  If our spouse always did what we asked of them, and seldom failed us, we would never learn the beautiful gift of love that never fails. What about patience? If you always asked your husband to do something and he quickly did it right then and there, would you, as a wife learn the gift of patience?  What about grace?  If your wife was always doing just the right thing and never disappointed you  would you, as a husband be learning the gift of grace towards her? We cannot conform into the image of Christ unless we learn how to give the same gifts that He so graciously bestows on us every day. I am, by no means saying that we can ever come close to loving someone with an unfailing love like Christ (that dear one, cannot be matched) but we can learn to step it up and to not give up on a love that Christ brings together. As a Christian, God writes your love story and He brings your spouse to you.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

We worship Christ and thank Him daily for His grace on us yet we are not willing to offer the same grace to our spouse for a mistake they made. What would marriage look like if we looked to Christ first for help in forgiving our spouse when they have betrayed us? After all we have all fallen short.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” – Romans 3:23

Our spouse may not deserve our grace, our love or our patience but we are called to give them that because Beloved, we are so undeserving of the grace, love and patience from Jesus but He gives it to us and He loved us enough to forgive and carry every wrong act we would do. He can teach us to give the same back to others as well.

HIS Healing:

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God ,as we walked about
among the worshipers.” Ps 55: 12-14

Dear one, have you ever felt betrayed, hurt, abandon, or left by a friend, boyfriend, family member, or spouse?  I have had the honor to talk with many sweet sisters who have been through such terrible situations, were husbands have walked out, family members have turned away and friends have simply given up on them. I myself have even been through a trial of abandonment by one I loved. Nothing hurts more than having that person walk out on you but praise Jesus we do not have to live in that state of abandonment. We can take and receive the mighty power of His amazing healing.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10

            It has been almost a year since I felt the kind of abandonment that David describes in Psalms. I have been studying the book of Daniel with my sweet, small group and truthful I have felt like I have walked through the fire but by the power of the Lord have not been burned.  Coming to a point dear one, in your life of looking back on trials and seeing the amazing hand of God’s protection over you just gives me spiritual goose- bumps. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Ps 91:4

 Often when we walk through trials we want and cling to what we had, when all along the Lord is saying ‘walk with me dear one and let me bring you through the flames.’  Coming to a place of healing through the storm is coming to a place where we look back and can see the hand of the Lord covering us. We can look back and finally say to the Lord, ‘thank you for your mighty hand of protection, power, mercy, grace and unfailing love over me.’ The Lord has brought me to that wonderful place of healing. Dear one, I want to jump up and shout the name of Jesus right now. What better place to be in then feeling the peace and healing of HIM! My prayer is for anyone going through storms right now that you stay with Jesus, keep walking with HIM.  HE will bring you to the promise land. Do not be like the children of Israel and look back on what you had and think it is better than the future.  Dear one, the Lord has only good and better things for you ahead but He does require you to keep walking with HIM in order to get to that promise land. There is healing in HIS name and I am one who can testify to that. I simply love how Job puts it after going through his trial with the Lord. “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.” Job 37:5   Beloved one, take heart in knowing that HE does great things beyond our understanding. Healing comes in the power of HIS pure and lovely name.  I pray that if you are going through the flames that you will feel HIS wonderful healing hand soon. Stay with HIM, dear one, walk on and praise HIS name through it all.

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken” Ps  62:1-2

Unbelief:

“When you cry out for help, let your collection of idols save you! The wind will carry all of them off, a mere breath will blow them away. But whoever takes refuge in me will inherit the land
and possess my holy mountain” Isaiah 57:13

 

In our Christian walk I believe that there are obstacles that get in the way of our Covenant relationship with Christ. I strongly believe that one of those is the obstacle of, unbelief.

As Christians we can believe in Christ for our salvation in a mere, matter of seconds and then spend the rest of our days believing Him for little more. Our Eternity with Him can be well secured, while the life we live on earth remains rocky and unstable. What does it mean to actually believe in God? Taking a deeper look at this can show us where that obstacle is. Take a look at Genesis 15: 6, ‘Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.”  Paul then speaks of the same verse in Romans 4:3 . The Hebrew word for “believe” in the old testament means, to make firm, to stand firm,  to be enduring , to trust and believe. In Romans,  the Greek word for believe means,  to be firmly persuaded as to something, to believe, with the idea of hope and certain expectation. It comes from the Greek word “ pistis” which means ‘faith” when translated into English.  Belief and Faith hold the same concept in both the new and old testament.  Looking at Mark 9: 21 -24 we see a story of honesty and truly trying to find belief.

Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”“From childhood,” he answered.  “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief”

 

We see the boy’s father saying ““I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” What  a sweet and refreshing site of honesty. He did believe, but he needed help overcoming his unbelief.  The Greek word for unbelief means, not worthy of confidence, untrustworthy, a thing to not believe. I think many of us can relate with this father.  We can believe Christ with our whole heart, accepting that He is the Son of God, and we can believe Him for our eternal salvation, yet fail to stand firm in belief and choose to find Him trustworthy each day.  I know I am so guilt of not trusting Him day by day. God is so worthy of our trust , dear one. I love how Moses says it in Numbers 23:19

 “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Can you think of a time, dear one when Christ proved unworthy of your confidence?  My beloved, if we think we have found unfaithfulness in Him I believe that one of three things has happened.

1.      We have misinterpreted His promise

2.      We missed His answer

3.      We simply gave up before Him timed His response.

There is good and bad news with a believer dealing with unbelief. The bad news is, that unbelief cripples our relationship with Him and hinders our walk with Him daily.  The good news is that if we are willing to admit our lack of trust in Him, Christ is more than willing to help us overcome our unbelief. Belief in the abilities and promises of God is a essential prerequisite for fleshing out the liberty we’ve won through HIM ! Understand, dear one that Christ is fully God. He can heal anyone, no matter if the belief of the person is great or small. He is not asking us to believe in our ability to practice unwavering faith. He is asking us purely to believe that He is able!  (Ps 84:12)

‘That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day” 2 Tim 1:12

“He will cover you with his feathers,and under his wings you will find refuge;his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Ps 91:4

Questions:

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. Psalm 63:3

 

How can just one second, phone call, or conversation change what “we” thought our future would look like?  Over the past year a call did change my future. What I thought was going to happen, what I thought my life would look like changed in a split second based on what one man said. Of course after the moment of shock wears off, you then are faced with questions for the Lord.  I had questions like “ Lord , I thought this was your will” , “ I thought you brought this person to me” ,  “ I thought this or that” , However what I did not realize is that while asking and wondering what the answers to those questions are it is not about getting those questions answered. It is about trust in the Lord to see and believe that He has changed the course of your future.  To keep walking in faith with Him carrying you through and to completely surrendered to Him (Isaiah 43:2).  As children of the Lord we know that He will work all things for good. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[ have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

As much as I was hurt, I have never seen the hand of the Lord more clearly then in everything that has happen since. The Lord’s ways are not ours, dear one.  (Isaiah 55: 8) Sometimes what or why we thought He brought someone into our life is not what He intended at all. For my personally story I know the Lord  allowed this man coming into my life so that I could in return see Jesus’ mighty hand of comfort, so that I could encourage and love on others facing similar hurts, and so that I could draw so much closer to my Savior. Looking back over the year of 2012,  I see love, happiness, hurt, sadness, unfaithfulness, doubt, comfort, peace and rest. I felt the love of a earthly man , I experienced firsthand a shattered heart , and pain in a earthly relationship, and then I was blessed and covered in the matchless, powerful, peace and rest of my Savior ‘s arms. I know dear sisters and brothers facing so many things right now and hurt and pain are upon them but remember that through all this Jesus never once stepped off His throne and He never once was not in control. Have peace in knowing that He saw “that event’ was going to happen in your life way before He even created you and find joy in the trial that He has given you

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4

Claim peace over this situation and make Him famous through this (Psalm 62: 5). He has given you this trial and He will walk you through it ( Isaiah 43:2). You have the amazing opportunity to become His witness through this.

“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,“and my servant whom I have chosen,so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.Before me no god was formed,nor will there be one after me. “ Isaiah 43: 10

Cling to Him in your time of need and He will restore you and make you strong and steadfast in Him ( 1 Peter 5:10)  

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,”says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

Beautiful:

“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.” Song of Songs 4:1

 

Very rarely do I meet people who have come to trust God fully who haven’t also painfully discovered the fact that they cannot trust themselves. The enemy is a professional and when women are the target often the bulls- eye that the enemy focuses on is childhood dreams. Little girls grow up believing in Cinderella. We dream of the day that our dashing, handsome prince will come and rescue us only to find out that our “palace” turned out to be a duplex, and our prince turned out to be an ugly toad. The fairy godmother appears to have lost our address and anyway what could her wand do now?

But have you every stopped to think dear one,  that some of your childhood dreams were meant to come true in Christ, in ways far better than the obvious. In fact, I have come to learn that the Lord sometimes allows us to become disappointed in our “fairytales” so that we will set our hope more fully in Him. Let’s take a look at the second dream beyond the fairytale prince and palace. Every little girl longs to become beautiful. Boys long to become handsome and strong. Once we reach adult hood we harbor hurts if we feel like no one thinks we are.

Watching and remember my sweet friends go through high school reminded me of the insecurities I had back then as well. To feel I looked beautiful everything had to be right; good hair , lots of makeup, no clumps on my perfectly, black mascara covered eyes.  I worked so hard at trying to be beautiful. I believed nothing about me was naturally beautiful. How thankful I am now that I am in the freedom of Christ over all this now. The secret is that I am learning to see myself as beautiful to my King , Jesus. Without Christ every dear woman has powerful insecurities. Dear sister, unless we find out identity in Christ, we become just as prone to insecurities as unbelievers. We try to play it off that feeling unlovely does not influence us but it does and our King knows that it does.

Have you dug into one of the Bible’s most provocative books? Song of Songs is a love poem covered with terms of endearment. Grab your Bible and walk into chapters 2 and 4.

“How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine,and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!” Song of Songs 4: 10

 

“My beloved spoke and said to me,“Arise, my darling,my beautiful one, come with me.” Song of Songs 1:10

Don’t, you just love Song of Songs?  It makes me blush, laugh, and long for real romance. I am almost shocked to know that God knows about these kinds of things and much less writes about them.  I believe Song of Songs was written to helps us relate to our union that we have with Christ. In this book we get to picture real romance first hand between Christ and his beloved bride. Real romance does await all of us. Single or married you can celebrate that dreams really do come true. King Jesus is completely taken with you. He sees you as His bride. Look at another verse that beautiful portrays Christ feeling for you.

“I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.” Song of Songs 1:1

Take key note that these are the expressions of the woman. She was not being arrogant. She simply saw herself as her lover saw her. Her mirror was the face of her mate. How different would your life be if you allowed Christ to be the mirror of your life?

“Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love” Song of Songs 2:4 The word Banner means “to flaunt, raise a flag , figuratively to be conspicuous. Have you ever been pretty sure that someone loved you but you wished they would just show it more? Song of Songs shows the kind of relationship in which Jesus love for us will be completely obvious.  He will show off His love for us. He waves His hand over you, signaling to all in sight that you are the one He loves! You have a lover, dear one, who thinks you are the most beautiful in the land. He is completely captivated with you and longs for a deeper relationship with you. He gives you what no earthly mate could ever give and that is perfect, unfailing love. You are beautiful to your King Jesus and he proudly shouts that He is in a relationship with you